Make traveling fun with these funny travel jokes. Get your day started with our daily coverage of the bizarre, weird and the obscure. Some of these are funny travel quotes from movies, others are more quotes for your travel friends. You can instantly share them as well if you enjoy them! One night, I was unsure what the meat on my dinner plate was, so I pointed to it and asked in my best 11th-grade French: âQui est-ce?â The familyâs expressions told me I needed some tutoring. Over the holiday weekend, my sister received a strange email claiming to be from the principal of her kids’ school. âYouâre welcomeâ is prego. For real. But Iâll clean it! I pooped in the toilet! In his late 80s, my father-in-law went to the DMV to renew his driverâs license. 18-ago-2020 - Sometimes travel misshaps happen, when they do and you learn to laugh at yourself, they become the best funny travel stories. My Cab Driver hunting an Iguana for dinner – Panama Experience! Whereâd you stay?â asked a colleague. âRemember that baby bird we found on the sidewalk the other day?â she asked. We were in Ibiza and we were, My very first backpacking trip by myself started in Malaga, Spain. I tried, Cab fares in Panama are determined in advance. We never send spam. A coworker was telling us all about her trip to Las Vegas. Read stories about Ursula Brown's grandmother driving her on a road trip to disaster, Lisa Brown's little brother getting a Tic-Tac stuck up his nose, and Carmen Agra Deedy's mom setting the bathtub on fire. Mom immediately started telling her how much she liked no longer working and how the saleswoman would enjoy it too. Best Hostel Chains in Europe & the World (+ Promo Code for Selina Hostels), Smartest Hostel Packing List in 2021 – 23 Clever Things to pack (+ Free download), Hostels from A to Z – All you need to know about Hostels, 62 Things to Do in London for FREE (+ useful Tricks to spend much less), 77+ Cool and Unusual Things To Do in Barcelona (to impress your friends back home! He excitedly told them that he saw grownups riding naked! My name is Mike, I work for the county engineerâs office, and Iâm the genius who designed this!â Surprisingly, he still gave me a tip. But next month it will be full-time.â âDarlene Query. Find the latest coverage of tourist accidents and true stories from holiday nightmares. âTwo-day shipping will cost $12.95 to get it there by Friday,â my coworker Billy told her. I was on a business call when I realized I was late for a class at the gym. 25 Funny Signs That Prove Covid Will Never Take Our Sense of Humor Covid sucks, but we humans are a resilient bunch. The guide replied, âOne.â. âThank you,â she said. The customer,... âYesterday was my 18th birthday!â a customer said after walking into our convenience store. As I headed out the door, I told the waitress what had happened. âWhat country is that in?â, Two regulars are sitting at a bar when one of them casually points to a couple of drunks across from them. You didnât look to your right,â yelled the frightened inspector. I found him sleeping on the sofa. Travel stories exploring the gap between where we came from, where weâve traveled and where we are now. I was really getting into it when a coworker in the next trailer poked his head in. Perelman. It was also my first time at. But perhaps most importantly, they're the world's best comedians. By Debra Kelly / April 6, 2017 11:52 am EDT. 195k. I called the company and asked where my Maid Marian costume was. Wanting to find out when it opened the next morning, I stopped a teenage staffer on her way out and asked, âWhat are your hours?â Her reply: âRight now, six to nine because Iâm in school. âHow did he get there?â he asked. Save this to your funny stories collection so you can tell your friends on a road trip! One day, my physician father treated himself to a plate of raw oysters and offered to share them with me. Eventually, he found something that interested him. Instead of asking âWhat is it?â as I had intended, Iâd asked âWho is it?â. Future Engineers. Once when I was traveling through…We are collecting greatest Funny Travel Stories from the road. Thinking no one could hear me as I loaded a UPS tractor trailer, I began to whistle. âDo you have kids?â âNo,â he said, âand I never will.â. You look just like someone I know named Mary.â âWell, I hope sheâs young and skinny.â âNo,â he said, settling into his chair. One of my all-time favorite countries to travel in is India. As a kid, I was at a sleepover, and I watched my friend stuff the bedsheet into her mouth, pull it out, and say, âThat was good, Mom; whatâs for... Our son was upset that his baseball coach yelled whenever he or a teammate made a mistake. Some of these are funny travel quotes from movies, others are more quotes for your travel friends. âThatâs us in ten years,â he says. My great-aunt looked confused when I told her that my daughter was 18 months old. As my two sons were climbing into the back seat of our car, Eric, five, yelled, âI call the left side!â That didnât sit well with Ron, four. There are many funny events from history that get left out of school books. I took my eight-year-old niece to a Chicago Blackhawks hockey game against the Montreal Canadians. Just click on … âInteresting.â After a pause, he said, âLetâs get an impressionââ âItâs more observational humor, actually,â I interrupted. After my beloved dog Lucky passed away, my daughter tried to explain to her four-year-old son what had happened in terms he might understand. My 35-year-old son and I had just finished our meal when I realized Iâd left my wallet in my truck. I grew up above my fatherâs tavern. Sam's humungous collection of fun travel trivia Basic Accounting Made Easy for the Small Business. Shutterstock. When the gods donât want you in Rome. You are the winner,â says the emcee to the man. I wore it confidently to an evening party and glowed when a woman exclaimed, âOh, how stunning!â Yes, I was grinning from ear to ear, until she added cheerfully, âHang on to it, honey. Visiting Annapolis, I noticed several plebes on their hands and knees holding pencils and clipboards. A young man inherited a house from his uncle and moved in right away to start fixing it … We crafted, painted, and colored. Mom admitted she didnât have anything particular in mind, and the pair started chatting. My three-year-old grandson asked his mother whether his younger brother used to be in her stomach. r/travel is a community about exploring the world. I was admiring my auntâs necklace when she surprised me by announcing, âIâm leaving it to you in my will.â I was overjoyed, perhaps too much. Otherwise, it might be a total mistake and, A long time ago, in a continent far far away, I was travelling around Australia with two friends. A second later, a voice from upstairs â¨responded, âOK!â. We sat on that metal glider with our feet in the seat for a good little while, but when we got up, we found a shocking surprise. Sandboarding at 65k through Namibia’s Dunes. !” Customer: “No, I didn’t see the rat itself, but its droppings are all over that thing!” Me: “Show me where you saw them.” The customer points to an empty section of the cheese island, where a bunch of small, black, spherical objects are sitting on the metal. Living in rural Minnesota, I find driving through crowded Minneapolis difficult. On the morning my friend went... Our eight-year-old daughter: âAre you saying that George Washington didnât invent the toilet?â, Turning to me with some urgency, my sleeping husband stated, âI have to do the catâs taxes!â, My husband was tossing and turning in bed, so I asked whether he was all right. My mother was browsing in a store when a saleswoman offered assistance. There was a metal glider on the path in the orchard. âI canât remember,â she said. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. The men wrote, âWoman, without her man, is nothing.â The women wrote, âWoman! If you think you qualify, raise your hand.â Everyone raises their hands except a middle-aged man who seems to show little interest. Teaching is not for sensitive souls. âNow I just wish you could.â âMegs Brunner. One day, a newly appointed bright-looking girl came to the register and said loudly, "Turn me on!". 25 Funny Signs That Prove Covid Will Never Take Our Sense of Humor Covid sucks, but we humans are a resilient bunch. Tag: funny travel stories. âDid you eat him?â. My brothers had run a wire from the electric fence to the metal glider, and when our feet touched the ground, we got a shock. I finally exploded â¨at the kitten: âYouâd â¨better sit down; youâre getting on my nerves!â Sometimes honesty isnât the best policy.A patient showed up at our medical office and asked, âYouâre Mary, arenât you?â I smiled. For a few days, a few weeks, or (if youâre wealthier than I am) a few months, you feel like the most adventurous, fabulous,and impressively cultured person to step foot on this earth. âI have trouble figuring out when to turn and what lane to be in,â I complained to my grandson.... My great-aunt looked confused when I told her that my daughter was 18 months old. FluentU is a great resource to use alongside funny short stories if you want to achieve this goal of having actual English conversations. I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. One day I had some friends over, and we were walking in the orchard. I believe I can fly – Tobogganing down a 3km narrow piste, Once in Sayulita, Mexico, I told my Life Story to Paco the Dog, EXPELLIARMUS – Beach Soccer in Lagos, Portugal. hehe that is pretty funny. The first thing I did when I heard our great-granddaughter was born was to text my son: âYou are a great uncle!â He texted me back immediately: âThank you. You, One day last year our friends asked us if we would like to meet them in Thailand (we, I love to think back and getting reminded about my travels in Palestine. You saw a rat over there? Me: You can be anything you want. âI donât think Iâll ever get these flowers planted,â she moaned. Even in our darkest days we … Soon, it was my turn to boast that, in spite... My mother and I suffered through an overlong, confusing movie at an art theater. Before exploring the city of love, I wandered into a nearby park to enjoy some long-awaited down time. Remember, he was SIX! Funny Travel Mishaps. Exasperated, the customer glared at me and said, âIn my newspaper, the ad was for this store!â âEdward Oppenheimer. âThatâs Mumâs side.â. For more fun stories, have a look on the stories on sex in hostels. We love funny travel stories! It was highly interesting to, From monkeys climbing on my head to sleeping on train floors to cocktails on top of the world…, The Passenger Hostel in Porto – A New Level of Hosteling in Portugal and Europe, The Pipe House in Playa Grande, Costa Rica – Up-Cycled Pipe Accommodation Seconds from the Beach. When my nephew, Victor, was five, I took him to a local stable for a pony ride. It adds the flexible part to the travel experience. We're herded into cylinders that zip hundreds of miles per hour at 30,000 feet, subjected to security screenings, confronted with delays and lost luggage, rushed to catch connecting flights, constrained to small seats, scrunched up with strangers, and surrounded by pathogens. In Italy. Thanks. He then asked for some e-cigarette products and handed me his ID to prove he was... My mother was browsing in a store when a saleswoman offered assistance. After some loud moans, she yelled, âI did it, Mom! A Few More Short Comedy Stories. Oda April 12, 2017, 2:26 pm. New Here? His friend takes a sip from his beer, sets it down on the bar, turns to his friend, and slurs, âThatâs a mirror.â. Venus Wong. At their heart, time travel stories deal with the pain of lost possibility. We recommend our users to update the browser. She turned back to me. âHow much for the dog?â. âHow did he get there?â he asked. So I confidently replied âRagú!â and walked out of the store. The day started out like any other, perhaps lazier. All-Star Superman #6 â Funeral in Smallville applies all of that to a story about grief and loss. We left Swakopmund, Namibia early in the morning and drove out to the dunes with the sand boards. My job as a facilities maintenance engineer required a wide range of skills. Frustrated, he left. An Australian travel website about the funny and downright weird aspects of world travel today! Just as I was about to dig in, he picked up an oyster, examined it, and commented, âThey remind me of infected tonsils.âAnd thatâs the story of how he ended up eating the entire plate of oysters himself. A customer walked into my clothing shop and asked to see the pants that were advertised in the paper that day. TWEET. OMG. I realized that one day when my kitten was running around my bedroom, climbing onto shelves and into the dresser as I was getting... My three-year-old grandson asked his mother whether his younger brother used to be in her stomach. I asked the kids in my nursery school class what they needed in order to grow up nice and strong. Youâll also find travel guides for the places Iâve been. One day I had some friends over, and we were walking in the... As a head cashier in a departmental store, I had to open and close the cash registers of the cashiers. âOh!â I shouted. Here are some good ones! Read all those great stories around the world. She asked, "Are the Canadians from Canada?". Most Bizarre Time Travel Stories Of All Time. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. âCongratulations! â¨I realized that one day when my kitten was running around my bedroom, climbing onto shelves and into the dresser as I was getting ready for work. Are you looking to read about crazy mishaps that happened on the road? Finally, I got on the intercom and said softly but firmly, âAll right, Johnny, itâs time to go to sleep now.â There was quiet in the room, and then he said, âOK, God, I will.â I didnât hear a peep from him until morning. As the customs agent handed my passport back to me, she cheerily welcomed me home by declaring, âBack to reality for you!â. When she replied, thinking it might be about a project she was working on for the school, the reply was even odder. "A great funny travel writer was the late lamented S.J. In fact, it is one of the main experiences when traveling. One of my wifeâs third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, âAre you tracking your steps?â âNo,â said the little girl. The customer, clearly looking to save a few bucks, said, âThe package doesnât have to get there till Saturday. SHARE. âItâs just something coaches do,â I said. Expect the unexpected with our collection of the weird. IF you like these stories here are some more collection of funny stories with morals for adults. This is why we created this collection of funny travel stories, sent to us by travelers and bloggers all around the world. I told him it wasn't his job to protect us, and he said, "But I'm almost 10." I grew up above my fatherâs tavern. They are, The annual Christmas sea swim has been taking place for almost 60 years on Clacton beach, Essex, United. He winked at her. "Open my register," "Please let me start," and "Give me the go-ahead," were some of the terms used by cashiers. I held a garage sale with my little blond cairn terrier for company. One little girl answered, âBirthdays!â, If I ever voiced disapproval of a photo of myself, my mother always had a ready reply: âWant a better picture? My three-year-old son: I donât know what I want to be when I grow up. âWeâre sorry, maâam. Clickbait, spam, memes, ads, brochures, ⦠Whenever a cashier started work, I was paged to open the register. Relieved, I said to a fellow hostage, âThereâs a first time for everything.â She grumbled back, âThereâs a last time for everything too.â. There was an uncomfortable silence as I realized the doctor had heard every word. âOh!â I shouted. There was one: âWhatâs a colleague?â. Here comes, the really funny short stories with a twist so, donât miss the ending. Funny vs. You #4. I'm already a fan, don't show this again. Living in rural Minnesota, I find driving through crowded Minneapolis difficult. The Royal Flight. Saved by Isabella I Boundless Roads - Travel Blog. I told him when he got home, and he was inconsolable. 24 Funny Stories With Unexpected Endings. Tanned, relaxed, and unshaven, I landed at the Denver airport after returning from my bucolic Caribbean vacation. Finally, convinced by Momâs enthusiasm, she asked, âHow long have you been retired?â Mom said, âThis is my first day.â. âYou know, I always used to wish I could whistle,â he said. âWe donât have an ad in the paper today,â I told her. After I paid for my items in an adorable Italian shop, the salesperson smiled and said âGrazie,â Italian for âthank you.â My Italian isnât very good, but I knew that the Italian word for âyouâre welcomeâ was the same as the name of a spaghetti sauce. Get a better face.â, Suffering from an unsightly scaly rash, my friend Denise made an appointment with a dermatologist who happened to be very attractive. A woman at our checkout counter didnât have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. Interested, she confessed that she, too, was considering retirement. The latest travel news and traveller stories. Whether youâre hitting the road for a cross-country trip or leaving on a jet plane for far-away lands, something about traveling makes you feel like youâre on top of the world. âThank you,â she said. You got it! People thought he invented his wild tales set in Africa, China, Singapore, Israel and elsewhere -- in "Westward Ha!" âNo,â said the teen. When I asked why he slept there, he said in case bad people broke in the house so he would fight them. My husband was tossing and turning in bed, so I asked whether he was all right. He kept the patter... My three-year-old son: I donât know what I want to be when I grow up. I was in a small store in a nearby town one evening. âTwo-day shipping will cost $12.95 to get it there by Friday,â my coworker Billy told her. I had never read this one before but this is one of the funniest travel stories Iâve ever read! Whereâd you stay?â asked a colleague. Completely confounded, I muttered, âIâd love to meet the genius who designed this mess.â With that, my passenger extended his hand in my direction and said, âWell, today is your lucky day. Our son was upset that his baseball coach yelled whenever he or a teammate made a mistake. Son: (after a few seconds) I think Iâll be a mother. best travel puns of all time; You can find more +109 travel quotes here; For having a good laugh, check out all the funny travel stories we collected. What could be funnier than family? I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. Thatâs when my youngest son pointed out that the â11â I was seeing on the screen was actually the gameâs pause button. Our current favorite spooky / funny campfire story for kids is The Viper. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing. I was trapped in an elevator for 30 minutes before the doors finally opened. âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry,â he said. âIt says to plant in full sun, but itâs been cloudy for four days.â, My six-year-old loved his pet fish. ☺ Signs that made you doubt the sanity of your boss/librarian/college professor. One of my wifeâs third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, âAre you tracking your steps?â âNo,â said the little girl. The woman quickly learned that Mom was retired. Crazy stories go hand in hand with a career in aviationâand none are more shocking than these about unruly passengers. âThe straw could go up your nose.â. âWeâre sorry, maâam. funny jokes, short jokes, jokes dirty, adult jokes, clean jokes, kids jokes, humor Daily Jokes, funny stories, rude funny poems and dirty limericks, funny quotes, Random Humor, Top Ten Lists -- all at Jokes2Go.com -- the daily new humor site ... Like us on Facebook to see similar stories. Last year me and my boyfriend had a hilariously unlucky time in Rome which I feel I need to share. The beauty of renting an Airbnb lies in the potential of making unique travel memories. What did I do?â âPeggy Klasse. In other words, I would like to complain about the bullshit alternate travel arrangements and accommodations your airline provided for my trip due to a broken airplane. Apparently we were not the only dissatisfied patrons. His Explanation to the Judge was Golden. âItâs not personal.â His response was hard to argue with: âIf itâs not personal, then why do they use your name?â. When I described it to a Âcoworker as âIâm a jack of all trades, master of none,â I was amused, yet slightly offended, when she offered a less than complimentary interpretation from her native Cantonese: âEquipped with knives all over, yet none are very sharp.â. I held a garage sale with my little blond cairn terrier for company. Some of them might be considered too raunchy for history class. 1. by Spencer Althouse See All Slides. From wild animals, priests, funny coffee, sand-boarding and more! As I headed out the door, I told the waitress... A coworker was telling us all about her trip to Las Vegas. Reply. âRemember that baby bird we found... As the dentist labored over my teeth, he tried to make small talk. Wanting to find out when it opened the next morning, I stopped a teenage staffer on her way... Iâm a nurse in a hospitalâs childrenâs ward. When my nephew, Victor, was five, I took him to a local stable for a pony ride. Sparky is a funny dog with his own web page. Back in school I was hooking up with this guy at a party and ended up messing around with him in the bathroom, long story short he came in my mouth but apparently a bit of it was still on my chin, we went back to the party and one of my girlfriends saw and said, "How he did taste you skank? âMary Lahl. I had a chance encounter with a pastor who told me about a wonderful event held at his church. You can unsubscribe whenever you find our exclusive discounts and insider tips useless. Funny story that terrified my cab driver as text. As a head cashier in a departmental store, I had to open and close the cash registers of the cashiers. ), 23 Fun Things To Do In Barcelona + Extras, What happens in Venice stays in Venice – my Selfie Stick Fiasco, Two Russian Spies in Rotterdam? Funny Travel Stories & Budget Travel Guides. My wife had prepared a lovely candlelit dinner and our two young sons, Garett and Seldon, were dressed in their suits.